Burn It Down

Here it goes again.

The downfall.

That feeling when you're in the car and you drive up and down hills. Butterflies, but the deadly kind.

Again.

But this time, it's worse. Or it's a different brand of the same old bad.

I see everything falling to pieces already. I see the aftermath that I can't stand. I can see the slippery slope, the tears, the pain.

In part, because of a severed hand. An accident. Bad luck.

I'm terrified. But this is just the beginning.

I enjoyed the peace and happiness while it lasted. It's just hard to go from being on a high, seeing potential in everything, laughing and smiling and eating alright... To this. Seeing the brown grass and the winter-bare trees for what they are now, not what they'll be tomorrow. And being as messed up as before.

I just want to tear it all down now. Skip the suspense. The sooner it's all destroyed, the sooner we can fix it.

I'm not looking forward to the next month and a half. Because I think it will be that long until things turn back to normal. Unless everything really does go to hell.

Then it won't be normal for years.

I don't want to live through that.