Not the way it goes

I've been told repeatedly that if I'm not doing anything wrong, if I'm innocent, don't worry. I won't be accused of anything. And if I am, I will be proven innocent.

But it's like my life is on repeat. Do you know how many times I've been accused of something I didn't do, and it has never been looked into further? Too many to count.

The incident that comes to mind is me in 3rd grade when, having done nothing to another girl, she whipped up some tears and ran to the teacher spouting lies, telling the teacher that I'd done all these things that she was, in fact, doing to me.

The teacher believed her. Nothing I said made a dent, it only condemned me further for "lying" and "continuing the lie."

And I know that it wasn't the first time. It was just the time that I found out whoever cries first gets more credibility. I actually tested this theory, and it worked.

Some people call me paranoid and silly when I explain to them that I don't like going into shops because I think someone is going to accuse me of stealing. Or call me annoying or my actions unnecessary when I do all I can to make sure what I'm doing and not doing is clearly defined.

But this has been happening to me my whole life. Maybe other people get the privilege of being seen as innocent when they are, but I haven't had such a luxury.

When I let my guard down, this is what happens. And even when my guard is up, it still happens.

There's no winning for me.


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