The Almost,

Imagining worlds and scenarios that are so impossible that they'd never happen, that's okay. I can handle that. Such scenarios lull me to sleep on almost a nightly basis.

But imagining situations that are so close, but so far away. That would change my life completely, and are almost plausible?

Situations that I direly want. Direly need. That I think there's some chance of a yes, that I might actually get something I deserve. That I might be part of a great family that loves each other.

That it all is almost worth it.

That doing what I have to do to get away, to finally be happy, is so close to being worth it that  I would, I could, but I just can't.

I can't. I can't think of them.

It hurts so much.

And now I can't breathe.


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