The Rainbow's Unpredictability.

If something was actually wrong with my mom... if she was a sociopath or something... would I be the bad person again?

They say that you need to get through the rain to see the rainbow.

But what if there's no rainbow after this storm?

I'm tired of being the bad one. The one blamed for everything. The one who can't do anything right.

Or what if the rainbow is too late coming?

This is all wrong. But what if something flips and it's no longer wrong? What if it becomes accepted, or the norm?

What if the rainbow is as unpredictable as everything else? How am I supposed to be assured of the rainbow's future presence?

I'm trying to flip this picture to something good, but it's fighting back. What if it just... falls out of my hands. What if it flips itself into something worse. A worse picture. A terrifying picture...

What then?

I want Christmas to be over. And New Years. And my birthday. I want to skip over it all. Move on. These weeks are hell, no way around it. Happiest time of year?

Maybe one day. After I'm out of here. Far away.

Run run run, as fast as you can. Make sure they don't catch you Mr. Gingerbread Man.