Don't call me a grinch, a scrooge, or anything else.

But I just want to sleep through Christmas.

Press fast-forward.

I don't want to accept gifts from people who have ignored me for the past month.

Even more, I don't want everything to be dragged on. To be ignored through the morning and the night.

Or maybe that would be better. I don't know. I just don't want to face it.

It takes more strength than I sometimes believe I have to get through everything.

I want to skip to spring. The time of new hope. Go back to the warm days, so I don't have to be cold both inside and out.

And I type this and I feel so pathetic. I should be stronger than this. But the continuity of it is wearing me down.

Everything is dead around here. The city lights aren't enough anymore. They never were.