Of Fearing The Empty

You want to know a secret?

I'm scared of being alone. In more ways than one. But right now? I'm terrified of this house I'm in. Because I'm completely alone.

No, that's a lie. I've my two cats and three fish. But I doubt any of them would be able to be considered "Guard Cats/Fish."

I'm scared that someone will break in. I'm scared someone is looking through the windows. I'm scared someone is hiding in the shadows. I'm scared there's ghosts hiding downstairs, or just around the corner. I'm scared I'll see a centipede or spider and I won't be able to ask for someone to kill it. I'm scared I'll have a nightmare of any of the above. Actually, the latter three I'm scared of all the time, but it's heightened when I'm alone.

It's just not safe.

And since my brother and his friends saw that peeper outside the living room window back in April, I've been scared that he's going to come back. I want new curtains, since blinds just don't cut it.

I wish we had a second storey, cause I'm also afraid of being kidnapped. Through the window even. Like those two girls a couple of years back, one being dumped in the woods somewhere and one hacked into several pieces and scattered along the bayfront.

I'm scared of a lot of things, but whenever I am I just brush it off. I'm okay. I'm okay. Ha-ha, watch as someone breaks in. Isn't that funny?

Except it's not.

But I won't tell my parents because I'm an adult now, and they've got a cottage to go to, and I can't go with them because I've got work.

And I have to sleep in this huge room by myself, where there could be a sasquach passing by my window at any moment. Some hairy beast. That can't happen around here cause, well, someone would see him, it, her, and there's fences and raw wood and a lot of stuff. And I don't want someone telling me differently cause those are the things that keep me from crying.

And I won't tell anyone because I like being alone. I like having the freedom to blare music, or (as I normally do) sit around in the silence and enjoying it.

But this house just isn't safe.

So there's my secret. Care to share one of yours? I promise I won't tell.


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