We Were Both Young When I First Saw You...

You know what I think, this late at night? It's thoughts I don't want to think. Mainly about my past, about my foggy future, and whether I did "right" things, whatever right is.

It might be naive of me. Perhaps I'm wrong. But I don't think she ever thought that the words she said, those final words, would really be the final words.

I don't think she really knew the power of those words, the power of the past. The power of my pain.

I know he didn't. It took him till a couple of weeks ago to figure it out, and I still don't believe he gets it.

I'm fully expecting graduation to come with some kind of "Can we fix this," or "I don't want it to end like this."

Thing is, it ended. If you wanted to fix things, you should have tried in the weeks that followed the world exploding, shattering into a million pieces.

And yet, I still kind of hope that something like that cheesy "Let's end on a good note!" event happens. And the reasons, the true reasons, are mine only to keep.

But I'm not getting my hopes up.

But I ask again, to anyone who reads this, to anyone who's ever said something they didn't want to say, or did, and knew/thought that it wouldn't change a thing-

What would you do, what would you say, if you had no guarantee that everyone would come back to you? If any word out of your mouth could be the final one?

For me, it was when I knew the full extent of my words that I finally told the truth.And yet, it wasn't enough to tell the whole story.

People still think it all ended because of a stupid party. A silly thing. A temper tantrum. A little bit of alcohol, perhaps.

When it was so, so much more.


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