The Path You Take

Everyone's told me, at one point or another, that there was another way to do things. Another way to end things. Sometimes there were multiple "Ways You Could/Should/Would Have Done It"s. It all got pretty tiring, pretty quick.

What did they expect me to do? Go back in time? Undo everything I've done with false apologies, only to end it all "The Right Way," which often differed between people I talked to?

Besides, this was the only way. Or, for the correctness of it all, it was the only way that worked for me.

Yeah. I could have "slowly become distant and uncontactable..." If that somehow worked around riding together, and then soon part-boarding horses together, and dealing with the times that they'd bug me about missing out on such-and-such thing, which I'll tell you now, I can't handle that great.

Yeah. I'm not a person who can hold in everything I'm feeling for months on end. The fact that I held onto everything for so long- I can't even count the months- is a surprise even for me. My hands slipped from the rope I was hanging onto frequently, and I can remember the days I couldn't hold on as tightly as before.

Then it all snapped. With a push from the other side, we all came tumbling down. And when we tried to climb up once again, and I led the pact of together. Then the person I never thought would do such a thing hit, bit, and burned my hands, until I was forced to let go.

And everyone says I had other ways to go.

Perhaps. But this is how it turned out. And though some days I think I should have tried harder, or wish I'd done it all differently, this is how it happened. I can't change it, and most of the time I don't want it changed. But I wish people would stop thinking they know better and thinking they'd do better than me in my life. And that's a wish I'm not about to take back.


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