August 29

I'm counting down the days. Or, well... Not the days. Not exactly.

I just feel the end of summer coming. And it seems kind of silly at first, because for me it's not the end of summer. Summer keeps going, on and on. It fades into autumn, then to winter, and then to spring. And then summer comes again. That's when it ends. A year away, this endless summer will end.

And I hope it does this time.

So... why am I seeing the end, feeling the end, mourning the end? The end that's not there?

Because, though it's not there for me, it seems to be there for everyone else.

I should rejoice, but I can't.

Lucky me. Lucky, lucky.

Not really. Not as-of-late. I just don't feel it.

And thus far, I have nothing to pass the time. Isn't it silly, how I've wished for so many things, but once they happen its like "Oh no, what've I done?"

I got a full time job, one I've been wishing for, and then I realize just what that means. No time.

I quit my other job, just to realize that shoot, I had it good there and I'll miss it.

Then I lose them both, and, well, just to say the least, I don't know how I feel. Or, rather, I feel lost.

Lost, and maybe a little unwanted.