Of Trying Over

It's nice having some of my old friends back, despite everything.

There's the doubt still there, and perhaps it will always be there, but I think we can all do better.

Four of the five of us agree that we weren't as great of friends as we thought we were, and the break, though horrible for all of us (though I was right, I was the only one blamed for everything) was necessary to realize how fucked up it really was. As for the fifth person, well, what she knows is minimal right now.

Despite all I've been working towards these past months, I never got to the point that I could remember all the good things without a tinge of bitterness. The reminder was there- we'd never have more memories like that again.

Now it doesn't seem that way.

Not to say that there's not a lot to fix. There's a lot. And I'm not all sure it will work, but I'm hoping it will. I don't think I can handle another February right now. But I won't compromise myself to prevent it. If it's seriously not working, I'll pack my bags.