Of Drama and Doubt

So, everybody...

You can call me an idiot right now, though I gave that decision to some of my real friends and they said no, I'm not an idiot. The others are.

I've been regretting this friendship since an hour after it "started."

Rachel, the one who bugged me, insulted me, pushed me, and yelled at me for opting out of the NYC trip doesn't want to be my friend because of all the things I said to her. Me? I can't even remember what I've said, but I know she was doing most of the talking, trying to force me into things both when she was my friend and after we all split.

And as Sara's new BFF, well, she gets a good say in whether or not I'm "accepted" back into the group.

I had thought I made it clear when I agreed to a new start that I'm not going to be the same girl I was before, and that I am not going to be part of their exclusive group. I don't want to be Sara's best friend again, and I won't be the leader of the group, but I won't be led either.

I guess I didn't.

And Sara doesn't think there's the possibility of anything wrong going on between her and Rachel, like it had us. I don't know how to take that.

Last night, though, the drama started. Apparently I told Sara Michelle hate's Rachel, when I didn't. Yay.

I dispelled that rumor pretty quick, but there's more to come, I'm sure. And right now? I'm missing the no-drama days of a week ago.

Was this all worth it? I'm seriously starting to doubt.