As If I'm Growing Off A Tree

Throughout my life, I've been threatened more times than I can count. One of the most prominent threats is "I will snap you like a twig." This is no doubt caused by my rather thin frame.

The utterance of threats towards me often comes from misplaced loyalty. I have never really had many loyal friends. Some of you who read this might know this from before, long ago, from a different blog entirely. Or you might have picked it up while reading either this blog, or Stealing Snowflakes. Or maybe you are one of those people who I've put my loyalty in, and found only hardship from it. Others, still, will only be learning this now, as I tell them. No matter. This is the truth. It is not bent or wholly damaged. I had and still have so-called friends that my loyalty has pinpointed. And once my loyalty has pinpointed a person, animal, object, it does not let go easily at all. It's a curse more than a blessing, I think.

Maybe it's more loyalty than trusting that is my problem. If not for my loyalty, many problems could be averted in many aspects- I would not tangle myself in another's problem to defend my friend, I would not have accusations of falsehood of my motives (since I tend to stand up for my friends, even if we are no more, they wonder why and deem my excuses- simple loyalty I am hard put to control, fake), and I'd not wish, dream, hope or expect others to be as loyal to me as I am to them, even after years upon years of friendship.

And then here is where it connects to today, instead of just being a random ramble (which would be fine, but if there is a purpose, why not use it?).

Today I stood up for a one-time friend who searched for any water-thin reason to run for the hills along with everyone else, and had found it in something I said in passing. She twisted my words, spun them into something I never intended, and turned on me. It was an attack that could have only happened had she been looking for a way to make it.

But yet, when someone decided to use the internet to insult her, I felt the need to step in and stay loyal to her though she had given me no reason to (for our friendship was marked and pitted with instances like the one above, and worse). And I got threatened for it.

The girl has threatened to "Snap me like a twig."

And me? I'm kind of looking forward to it. It will never happen, that I know. She will spread rumors, she will slander my name, she will giggle and laugh with her friends and taunt me, for that is her way, but she will not lay a hand on me.

I'm honestly curious here to know what it is like to be snapped like a twig, as I've heard the same threat uttered a hundred times, but not once has it come into effect.


Dannie said...

Dayum. I think I'd like to be that loyal, but maybe I am. I don't know. I've never had a good enough friend to prove any such loyalty.

Your prose is lovely.

a girl you once knew said...

Indeed, maybe you are :) I also think it's part because I'm so dang stubborn. Hopefully you'll find a good enough friend to be loyal to. I wonder if I do find such a friend myself, if I will be more or less loyal compared to those who don't seem to deserve my loyalty... I'll have to wait and see.

And thank you ^.^

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